Interview with a Pathwaynian: Peevyhouses
Holly and Clay Peevyhouse (married for 15 years)
Payton (9), Eden (6), Colin (3) & Rosalyn (1.5)
Holly – Class 284 , Clay – Class 278
What brought you to Pathways (how did you hear about it)?
Holly: Ultimately it was Jeff and Lisa Deys who introduced us to Pathways, but at the time we decided to start our journey, several people in our sphere of influence had gone through. Witnessing the healing and amazing change in all of the people, it encouraged us to go and heal our hearts.
Clay: Jeff and Lisa Deys are dear friends of ours. Jeff came to me shortly after starting Pathways and told me that I deserved to go through the training but I was very skeptical. I kept telling him “I am blessed and my life is good” even though I felt very sad and depressed but just thought that was life because that is how I had always felt.
One thing he said that kept replaying in my head was “Good is the enemy of great. What if your life could be great?” I listened to Jeff and Lisa’s journey to healing and how much Pathways had done for them but it still took nine months of denying myself the opportunity before I made the decision to go…it took a lot of internal struggle to convince myself that I was worth the money and time away from my family. When I finally made the decision to go, I wrote down a list of what I wanted out of Pathways…to be honest, I was so skeptical and wanted to make sure that I got my money’s worth, that if these items weren’t fulfilled, then I would have a reason to say “See! This stuff is crap!”
Here is my list…
1) To be a GREAT husband.
2) To be a GREAT dad.
3) To become a positive, confident person.
4) To live a proactive life versus a reactive life
5) To learn how to deal with stress or emotional situations rather than trying to ignore them and allowing them to build inside of me.
6) To improve my communication abilities.
7) To overcome hurt/pain caused by friends and learn how to allow myself to open up again.
8) To learn how to not be socially awkward.
9) Overcome my fear of failure.
Looking back now, that was a pretty stout list and really high expectations for a program that I knew no details of and only what it had done for my friends. I can honestly say, most of the entire list had been accomplished by the time I finished up my Walk and the rest wrapped up by the time I graduated plus things that I never even thought to put on the list! I definitely got more than my money’s worth!!!
What has been your greatest challenge, since graduation and what tool do you use the most to overcome the challenge?
Holly: Greatest Challenge… living my training with family members who don’t want anything to do with the training.
My numbers and my stretch song. My numbers; “these are my life is great numbers, should I work harder to create what I fear or trust and move forward? I want honest Holly numbers, thanks.” What I fear most is not having a heart connection with people that are closest to me, so instead of putting up walls around my heart from getting hurt, I remind myself of what I want most (heart connection) and know that I must TRUST and take action to make that relationship move forward.
My stretch song is “Proud Mary”, Tina Turner. It reminds me that I am strong, that I’m living my life so that everyone can see I live my training. And that my life is one of the roads less traveled, one that is the more “off the beaten path” and full of mountaintops and beauty when I work hard and then take it easy.
Clay: My greatest challenge is not retreating to my shell to hide from life, difficult situations or even new, unknown adventures. The tool I use the most is recognizing when I am running my numbers…I have Turtle numbers hence the “shell” reference. I spent most of my entire life running my numbers, even though I didn’t know I was, and I have a really hard time allowing myself to continue that type of behavior. My numbers have been an amazing gift to me and when I recognize the familiar feelings of running my numbers, it forces me to be honest with myself and make a decision. Am I going to allow myself to be ruled by my self-defeating behavior or am I going to live out my contract?
What has been the biggest change in your life since graduating?
Holly: Seriously, I could make a list for days… I have confidence in who I was made to BE! And from that it flows into every single area of my life. I feel like I finally fit in the shoes God has made for me.
Clay: Engaging life as a husband, father, son and friend. Not being satisfied with the status quo. Realizing that regardless of where I am in life, there is still room for improvement. Having the self-worth to want improvement and the confidence to do the work. The desire to chase dreams! Just to name a few!
How has “living your training” in the outside world affected your relationships?
Holly: Amazingly! My husband and I have something that most marriages never experience; a love that has depth, communication, vulnerability and a whole lot of FUN! Pathways helped repair the relationship with my mom, Brenda Tinker. Honestly, it gave us a relationship that we have never had ever. We both have played HARD and are reaping great benefits of speaking the same language. My kids get me, fully present, real, vulnerable, soft, ME! And then the friends, oh the friends. We have an amazing CORE group in the Tulsa area that is committed to living this training, they play hard and push us to grow. I never knew friendships like that were possible!
Clay: I share my thoughts and feelings more and step into difficult conversations when needed; which I wouldn’t have done in the past. I think that makes for deeper relationships, even if it is difficult and uncomfortable at the time. I think the greatest relationship that has changed, is the relationships with my children. Being an engaged Dad is one of my top priorities and I know that the time and energy I invest in them now will pay huge dividends in the future.
Have you ever refreshed p3? Thoughts?
Holly: Yes, I refreshed this past January. It was crazy how much I missed the first time around. Or even how much I had matured in my training to understand what the facilitators were training us to live. It is a must and I do believe it is something that we all deserve to do at least every year or two.
Clay: Yes, I refreshed P3 on my anniversary month of starting my training. I honestly thought that going into the refresher that I would be happy if I found a nugget or two of value. My thought was that I had already done it once, what more could I learn. Boy was I wrong. The whole weekend was like I had never been there before. I kept asking classmates “Did we do this the first time?” In true Pathways style, it was an amazing weekend, full of opportunities to grow!
Any tips on sponsoring?
Holly: Live your training in the most loving and positive ways. People are watching and if you are living a life true to who you are made to be, people will want what you’ve got. I have at least five of my sponsoree’s who came to me and asked me to Sponsor them in Pathways because they have been watching me, and these are not people that were in my friend circle at all.
Clay: Live your training. The greatest inspiration I can be is to genuinely live what I learned in the training…every day. People are watching to see what you are going to do. Prove to them that living a great life is possible and they will want what you’ve got!
How do you stay involved in Pathways?
Holly: Sponsoring, TAing, P-Parties, any kind of additional trainings, Empowered Parenting, Step Beyond.
Clay: I have TA’ed P1 and P2, along with my wife, which was an amazing experience. I have also TA’ed Step Beyond. P Parties are always a blast and we attend when we are in town.
What’s your contract?
Holly: I’m a strong, free, confident, loving, incredible woman, who is a joyful, trusting, peaceful child of God and a strong, worthy and capable Momma! (And that’s a whole lot of woman!)
Clay: I am a Strong, Courageous, Man of God; filled with Passion and Purpose to follow His will; who is a fun-loving Daddy, that’s good enough. (Step Beyond covenant and Empowered Parenting contract included)
What do you want people to know about you?
Holly: That I live an amazingly awesome life because I play really HARD and then I have lots of fun! (That’s how Proud Mary’s roll Nice & Rough.) I strive every day to live life to the fullest, mountaintop experience, sky’s the limit!
Clay: The difference in me today versus three years ago, is that I am conscious about my behavior and settling for less than isn’t good enough. My life is more important than waiting around for something special to happen. I deserve to be happy and I am willing to put in the work to live my dreams!
