Interview with a Pathwaynian: Kwarsicks
Jeff and Marcia Kwarsick (married for 22 years)
Jeff – Class 53 ~ Marcia – Class 51
What brought you to Pathways (how did you hear about it)?
Jeff: I was referred by an ex-girlfriend (who wouldn’t talk to me for 8 months after we broke-up). She attended Pathways and her call was out of the blue, and quite a surprise.
Marcia: Having been divorced for 6 years, my dating and relationships problems were mounting. A co-worker and class 38 graduate, suggested I go to Pathways and give it a try.
What has been your greatest challenge, since graduation and what tool do you use the most to overcome the challenge?
Jeff: Avoiding long-practiced behaviors (bad habits) which are in effect self-defeating behaviors. At stressful times when I can tell I’m prone to those behaviors which would otherwise do harm to my relationships, I reach for the “P1 Rock” I carry in my pocket. This is my vivid reminder of the consequences if I don’t choose a different path.
Marcia: Self-esteem and self-doubt are my greatest challenges. I use my contract. It’s like a checklist for me.
What has been the biggest change in your life since graduating?
Jeff: The biggest change was to recognize the flaws in my so-called truths – particularly about relationships. Most of my decisions before Pathways were driven by fear of making imperfect choices – worrying about the consequences and fears of how wrong choices could hurt my heart in the aftermath. I learned that there is risk in every choice, and waiting for the (unattainable) perfect option only leads to missed opportunities and delayed happiness.
Marcia: Not letting the fear of the unknown and fear of failure rule me. To step out of that comfort zone.
How has “living your training” in the outside world affected your relationships?
Jeff: Living this training, knowing the simplicity of what it takes to have a quality relationship with someone (anyone) is invaluable. The realization of much influence we can have on others behavior – through our own behavior is remarkable. I have been able to restore several relationships that I’d lost by using this training. I know where to look when I am having difficulty with others. The quality of my relationships is completely up to me.
Marcia: I am in more control (setting boundaries) … without being controlling. There is a difference! I’m also more tolerant and patient with people knowing we all come from different places emotionally.
Have you ever refreshed p3? Thoughts?
Jeff: In 2008, one year after my longtime friend attended his 1-year refresher (see below), he encouraged Marcia and me to try the “all new, amazing P3 with Dr. Rodgers”. It was that experience which brought me back to Pathways, and I’ve been volunteering in one capacity or another for 4 and a half years.
Marcia: Jeff and I attended together in 2008 (above). It was very obvious that the program had grown and become much improved. I thought the Core Map was wonderful and Jeff still laughs at me about how I was up late in the night reading it in the bathroom of our hotel room.
Any tips on sponsoring?
Jeff: Patience – never give up! My return to volunteering for Pathways was due to my friend of 37 years, who attended 17 years after I’d first discussed it with him. I had not mentioned Pathways to him for years, but the seed planted grew after many years, and sprouted when it was his time.
Marcia: A person’s heart has to be open enough to hear the message that you are trying to help by suggesting Pathways and not judging them. That’s a fine line. As Jeff mentioned, you plant the seed.
How do you stay involved in Pathways?
Jeff: I came back after 19 years after graduating and began TAing in 2009. I have volunteered at the Gala, Golf Tournament, and this year I am taking registration photographs at the Weekend. I hope to return to TAing when my professional priorities subside a bit.
Marcia: I have volunteered at the Gala and I help on the computer with the registration photos. I also support Jeff by managing the household when he’s away on training weekends.
What’s your contract?
Jeff: While my contract has a different form than most, I believe it really is at the heart of virtually everyone’s contract: “I Absolutely, Positively Love Myself”, (with covenants:) “and Share My Love with All of God’s Children, At Peace in the Grace of God’s Love.”
Marcia: “I’m a Strong, Wonderful, Beautiful, Loving Woman Glorifying Christ within me.”
What do you want people to know about you?
Jeff: The ex-girlfriend who wouldn’t talk to me, and yet called to sponsor me into Pathways after 8-months of silence, is now my wife of 22+ years. I am reminded daily that this is one of the many Blessings I received from attending Pathways in 1989.
Marcia: I ended up marrying the guy I broke up with after dating for 2 years. Turns out, he could make a commitment! All it took was an open heart and a phone call!
What we’re doing now…?
Jeff: Marcia and I are active in several Wine Tasting Dinner Groups. We traveled to Alsace France with one of them in 2012. I’ve just completed my 37th year at Lockheed on the F-16 program and am working on my retirement life plan.
Marcia: I’ve been involved in neighborhood activities for the past 5 years and currently President of our Neighborhood Association. I promote responsible parrot ownership through a website I maintain about our 16-year-old companion African Gray parrot “Einstein”.
Einstein’s website is www.EinsteinParrot.com
